Month: December 2025

• Lauren Gilbert was diagnosed with an aggressive form of colon cancer in April 2025.
• She is writing greeting cards in case she isn’t there for her kids’ milestones.
• The mom hopes they will read her messages when the time comes, and it’ll affirm her love for them.

This story is based on a conversation with Lauren Gilbert, 42, VP of operations for a healthcare company, from Collegeville, Pennsylvania. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Many people find it challenging to choose a suitable greeting card for a loved one. However, for me, the process took at least an hour as I chose 16 cards for my two children, Ella, 5, who is neurodiverse, and Austin, 4, to open as they grow up.

It was an emotionally draining shopping experience. I have Stage IV colon cancer, and my prognosis is not good. I doubt I will be around to celebrate occasions like their milestone birthdays, high school and college graduation, and weddings when they’re older.

I’ve decided to write messages in the cards well in advance so that my husband, Dan, can present them to Ella and Austin on each special occasion.

I had no choice but to have surgery

The doctor broke the devastating news that I had Stage IV cancer in April this year. It was a particularly rare and aggressive form — signet ring cell adenocarcinoma.

The diagnosis came two weeks after I went to the ER with intense pressure in my rectum. My stomach had been bloated for weeks, and going to the bathroom was virtually impossible.

They did an initial X-ray, which showed inflammation. But when I had a CT scan at a second hospital after a frightening spell of vomiting, they picked up a large mass that looked like a rectal tumor. A gastroenterologist did a colonoscopy, but couldn’t get past the tumor. I had no choice but surgery.

They removed the tumor and took a total of 12 inches from my colon. I was fitted with a colostomy bag, which I still wear today.

The pathology results took a while to come back, but confirmed our worst fears. The cancer had spread to my abdomen and also outside my liver.

It didn’t feel real, but my emotions came in waves. Dan, who isn’t particularly emotional, cried hysterically at times. This was the hardest thing for me because I hadn’t seen him that way before.

We call my resting periods ‘be still time’

Next, I had chemotherapy. “The doctor is going to give Mommy medicine, but it’s going to make Mommy sick a little bit,” I explained to the kids.

We called my resting periods “be still time,” when I might need some cuddles, be alone, or sleep. “We might get to watch a movie together, but Mommy’s not going to be able to run around and play.”

The initial chemo sessions were successful, but the second was not. The cancer had not shrunk, but had instead spread.

Now I’m pinning my hopes on a clinical trial in Philadelphia, which I start the first week of December.

Meanwhile, I’ve occupied myself during my sick leave by writing children’s books, including “Ella and her Neurosparkly Brain,” which explores autism. The writing has given me a new purpose.

As for the kids, they’re at the age when they’re developing core memories. I asked myself, “What can I do to let them know I’m still watching over them when they’re older?” I want them to feel that I’m still part of their lives even though I’m not here.

I decided to write personal messages in greeting cards

I’m writing letters to them to open when they’re having a bad day or they’re going through a break-up. For those times when they want their mom to know what’s happening and need comfort.

It gave me the idea of writing personal messages in greeting cards to mark milestone occasions, such as significant birthdays — when they’re 13 and become teenagers, and adults at 18 and 21, for example.

I also bought cards that were more purposeful, like getting their sacraments in church, which I hope they will.

Another plan is to write cards for their wedding day, although I haven’t found the right ones yet. In Austin’s, I will remind him of all the thoughtful things that he did for me, even as a 3 and 4-year-old child.

Those are the precious things I’d want him to do for his future wife, including being sensitive, nurturing, loving, and caring. I’m sure he’ll build on those qualities over the years and make a great husband.

I want my kids to know that I’m proud of them

I’ve also been thinking about Ella’s 18th birthday card, which she’ll receive in January 2038 if she chooses to do so. I don’t want either child to feel obliged to read them because who knows how they will feel about the idea when they’re older.

However, my message to Ella will be that she has the whole world ahead of her at the age of 18. I know that by then, she’ll have overcome many challenges in her life because she is incredibly strong.

I want my children to feel my love and know that I’m proud of them, no matter who they become or where their lives take them.

• In 2022, I moved to Germany for nine months as part of my Master’s program.
• I fell in love with a German man, and we’re still here — and married — over three years later.
• Although I don’t think this country is my forever home, it’s great for now.

When I moved to Germany in September 2022, it was under the assumption that I’d return home to Canada in nine months.

Germany was the last stop of my Master’s program that stretched across two years and three universities. I’d started out in Glasgow, then moved to Barcelona, and finally ended up in the small city of Göttingen, Germany.

Fate had other plans for me, though. After downloading Bumble one evening, mostly out of boredom, I matched with Leo: a very cute German beekeeper, drummer, and artist. I was intrigued.

It wasn’t long after our first date that Leo and I knew we had something special, and soon, we were spending every single day together.

There were just a few issues, though — mainly, the minor detail that he was born and raised in Germany, and I was from Canada.

I didn’t plan to stay in Germany, but meeting the love of my life made the choice a no-brainer

I had always planned to return to Canada at the end of my two-year program. Most of my friends and family were still there, and I had a few ideas of places I wanted to work after I had my Master’s.

I’d also been renting a beautiful, two-story apartment that I had planned to return to. To this day, though, my furniture and boxes of clothes are still in Canada.

Germany wasn’t exactly my dream destination, either. I was there because of the Master’s program, but the country had never been high on my travel bucket list, and I spoke virtually no German.

In my first month of dating Leo, the reality that my time in Germany would come to an end hung over both our heads. Given how serious we became in such a short amount of time, though, that didn’t last for long.

Truth be told, the decision to stay in Germany wasn’t that difficult to make. I had met the love of my life. This was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of experience.

Plus, knowing that we wouldn’t necessarily be here forever helped me feel a lot more confident. Leo made it clear he wasn’t married to the idea of staying in Germany; he still had a few years of university to finish, but then, he was open to moving elsewhere.

By June 2023, we were engaged, and we moved in together shortly after that. Later that summer, he met my family when we traveled to Canada together, and our lives became increasingly intertwined.

There are benefits and downsides to life here

Now, it’s been nearly three years since we met, and Leo and I live together on a retired farm in a small village outside Göttingen.

In June, we got legally married, and just this past October, we had a huge celebration in France with all our friends and family.

My life is wonderful, but Germany has its downsides. I miss the friendliness and more laid-back attitude of Canadians. Society here is highly rule-abiding, which can get tiring.

When I first moved here, for example, someone angrily scolded me for crossing the street on a red light. I learned later from a friend that jaywalking is frowned upon — especially if done in front of children.

I’ve also struggled with the language barrier. Try as I might, my German remains at a beginner level, even after three years. English isn’t spoken often in our rural village, and this has led to many moments of isolation for me.

On the other hand, my cost of living feels lower, and there is a certain charm to rural German life. One thing I’ve come to love is the mobile bakery that comes through our village twice a week, offering a wide range of baked goods.

Also, everything closes on Sundays, and although that can be inconvenient, I appreciate the slower-paced lifestyle and emphasis on family that this helps Germany maintain.

Germany isn’t forever, but it’s our best option for right now

Our plan, for now, is to stay in Germany for another two years. We’re expecting a baby in January, and we’ve found Germany’s healthcare system to be mostly excellent.

Staying here will give Leo the chance to finish school, allow us to take advantage of the German healthcare system, and help us save some money in a more affordable setting.

After many conversations, we’ve planned to end up living in Canada in some capacity; maybe we’ll move there in two years or split our time between both countries.

My parents are getting older, and I miss living closer to them and my friends. I also desperately miss living in an English-speaking country.

Even so, the fact that I don’t know exactly what my future looks like doesn’t scare me.

My move to Germany has taught me that plans can change in the blink of an eye, and although looking ahead is important, staying flexible and open-minded can lead to all kinds of unexpectedly beautiful experiences.

It has also taught me that my home is Leo, and whatever we do, we’ll do it together. Soon, that will extend to our child, too.