Day: November 12, 2025
Courtesy of Robert Fishman
- Robert Fishman, 73, regularly visits his 97-year-old mom at her assisted living facility.
- The boomer said their meetings are tough because she rarely recognises him.
- Her dementia has made him think about his own later years.
This story is based on a conversation with retired academic-turned-artist Robert Fishman, 73, of Potomac, Maryland. He reflects on life with his 97-year-old mom. The account has been edited for length and clarity.
My mother was officially diagnosed with dementia two-and-a-half years ago at the age of 95.
It was difficult for both her and me. She’d always been a beautiful, vibrant woman, and we’ve been very close.
She’s had a challenging life, particularly after being widowed when my father died at just 45, and her second husband died of Parkinson’s disease 26 years ago.
She’s now 97 years old, and her longevity is making me question my own mortality.
Mom drove until she was 92
She was extremely vivacious and independent, working in sales and volunteering at a hospice and a museum. Her friends relied on her to take them to appointments because she drove until she was 92.
Courtesy of Robert Fishman
Sadly, that all changed when I noticed some big changes. She experienced memory loss and stopped looking after her apartment in an assisted living facility in Delray, Florida.
It was a mess, and I’d often receive calls from the staff saying they were worried about her health.
My wife, Jackie, and I had a hard time persuading her to move closer to us in Maryland. But she relented. She now lives in another assisted living place located about two miles away.
She often mistakes me for my dad
I visit her every other day. I won’t sugarcoat it by saying it’s a pleasant experience. She doesn’t recognise who I am — frequently mistaking me for my dad — and can be violent at times.
There are strict rules, and the staff can’t shower her without either Jackie or me being there, in case she lashes out or gets bruises.
Courtesy of Robert Fishman
The situation isn’t unique, but it’s unusual to have a parent who is still alive when you are 73. I’m aware that I am in the last stage of my life. It’s a constant reminder when people you know die in their 70s. I’ve already lost several friends.
You start thinking about life and death in a different way. Luckily, my wife and I are healthy at the moment, but I increasingly reflect on my own mortality.
I would want to make a decision before my dementia became advanced
I find dementia to be a horrible disease that is playing out before our eyes. Watching someone you love struggle is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
If I develop something like Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, if it gets to the point where dementia is setting in, I would prefer to be able to make an early enough decision not to live anymore.
Courtesy of Robert Fishman
I’ve read about centers in Switzerland where euthanasia is allowed. I don’t want my son, daughter, and grandchildren to see me in a similar condition to my mom.
My art helps me deal with Mom’s dementia
They all go to visit her, which is wonderful. The population is aging, and I’m writing a children’s book to help young kids navigate this issue. It’s called “Bubby’s Still Here” because “Bubby” is a traditional name for grandma in Jewish culture.
Meanwhile, I immerse myself in my art. I’ve developed the concept of deconstructed landscapes, which relates to the idea of memory loss. It’s led to a certain calmness.
Whatever happens to Mom in the future, I’ll always hold onto memories of her warmth, her humor, and her enduring love.
Afghanistan must look for “alternative trade routes” that bypass neighboring Pakistan, a senior Afghan official said Wednesday. The remarks reflect deepening tension after border clashes between the two countries and are a blow to some ambitious trade projects that would link South Asia and Central Asia.
At the same time, the development could mean that Afghanistan will increasingly look to Central Asia for trade links as it cuts off business with Pakistan.
“All Afghan traders and industrialists should turn to alternative trade routes instead of Pakistan,” said Abdul Ghani Baradar, Afghanistan’s deputy prime minister for economic affairs. “These routes have not only harmed our traders but have also caused difficulties for markets and the general public. I strongly urge all traders to implement alternative options for imports and exports as soon as possible.”
Baradar also criticized what he called the poor quality of medicine being imported from Pakistan and said medicine importers have three months to close accounts there. He said that if Pakistan wants to reopen trade routes with Afghanistan, it must provide solid guarantees that they won’t be closed again. Pakistan has said it needs security guarantees to normalize trade.
The minister’s comments were reported by TOLOnews, a Kabul-based outlet, as well as other regional media organizations.
Afghanistan and Pakistan share a 2,600-kilometer border and trade was severely disrupted after clashes between the two sides last month. Pakistan accuses Afghanistan of providing sanctuary to militants who carry out attacks against Pakistani security forces, an allegation that the ruling Taliban in Afghanistan denies.
Several big Central Asia-South Asia projects would require close collaboration between Afghanistan and Pakistan. They are the Trans-Afghan Railway, the TAPI natural gas pipeline and the CASA-1000 electricity project.
Three Central Asian countries – Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan and Tajikistan – have borders with Afghanistan and share ethnic ties with minority populations there.
In late October, the city of Shymkent in southern Kazakhstan, near the border with Uzbekistan, hosted a forum during which Afghan and Kazakh officials and business leaders discussed expanding trade. Deals worth several hundred million dollars were announced.
