Day: October 28, 2025

Hayley and Helaman Perry-Sanchez put off their move to Cambridge, Massachusetts, as long as they could.

Helaman was accepted to Harvard Business School in 2020, and though he was excited to pursue his MBA, the Perry-Sanchezes weren’t as eager to relocate to the East Coast.

After meeting and marrying while they were in college in Utah — and subsequently leaving the Mormon church together — Hayley, 27, and Helaman, 29, had found jobs and built a life in Seattle. It was pricey, but they loved living there for two and a half years.

Still, they knew the MBA program wasn’t an opportunity that Helaman, who hopes to work in the renewable energy space, could pass up. After deferring for four years, in August 2024, they quit their full-time jobs, packed up their things, and drove across the country with their two dogs.

I spoke to Hayley once a month for a year, starting the month before her move and following along as she adjusted to her new life in Cambridge. This story is part of a larger series in which Business Insider followed three people over a 12-month period as they relocated, detailing the realities of uprooting one’s life.

The first time we spoke, Hayley said she knew relocating from Washington to Massachusetts for Helaman’s education would be challenging. What she didn’t anticipate was the identity crisis she experienced over the coming months — or the thrill she felt finding her new self.

A new start

Hayley and Helaman told me they had built a beautiful life in Seattle. They loved the apartments they had lived in, the restaurants they had frequented, the friends they had made, their work-life balance, and the proximity to nature that living in the Pacific Northwest offered.

However, it was so expensive that they struggled to imagine living there long-term. “It’s a utopian place, aside from money,” Hayley said of Seattle, where the cost of living is 45% higher than the national average, according to Payscale.

When it was time to move to Cambridge, Hayley and Helaman were nervous about leaving everything they loved about Seattle, but they were also excited for a new experience.

“I was really excited to just be in a new place,” Helaman said. “I’d never experienced life on the East Coast.”

The couple traded their loft apartment in Seattle for a $3,350 Cambridge unit with two bedrooms, a patio, no dishwasher, and communal laundry for the building. When their lease started on September 1, Helaman had already started classes.

Hayley, who was doing contract work for a Seattle advertising firm and creating her own social media content, was left to do the bulk of the unpacking herself. “It’s a very strange adjustment to be moving into an apartment and setting it up essentially on my own,” she added.

She also found herself alone more often than she had been in months, as she and Helaman had spent the summer traveling in Europe together.

“It was hard going from being with each other 24/7 over the summer when neither of us was working,” Hayley told me in October 2024. “Now, he’s essentially working from 7 a.m. to past midnight most nights or just on campus for stuff.”

Cambridge life

As she got to know Cambridge, Hayley thought her neighborhood was cute, but she didn’t love the greater Boston area, from the food scene to public transportation options. The weather wasn’t her favorite as it got colder, and she had trouble meeting people outside the Harvard bubble.

“I don’t love Boston so far, but I didn’t think I would,” she told me two months after her move. “I just like the laid-backness of the West Coast.”

Hayley and Helaman mostly socialized with Helaman’s classmates, as they discovered that happy hours, dinners, and even trips are integral to the HBS experience.

“It’s really hard going to all of the Harvard activities and having that just be your social world,” Hayley said. “There are so many people. You meet somebody, you do the intros for five minutes, and then you’re talking to the next person.”

The work Hayley was putting into their life in Cambridge didn’t go unnoticed by Helaman, who said it wasn’t the usual balance they had established in their relationship before the move.

“The first few months, it felt like a very one-sided give-and-take, where Hayley was sacrificing a lot for me,” he told me in April 2025 when reflecting on the early months of the move. “It felt very much like she was coming to all of my things.”

By the end of 2024, Hayley was doing her best to adjust to the move, but she still didn’t feel at home in Cambridge. Often, she felt like she wasn’t building her own life because everything was focused on Helaman’s schooling.

“The acclimation to partner school life is just so hot and cold all of the time,” she said. “It would be so much simpler to be 40 years old and have kids and just have to make a move.”

“But then I’m like, ‘I can’t compare. Everyone has their different struggles,'” Hayley added.

The cost of living in Cambridge — 70% higher than the national average, according to Payscale — also started to weigh on the Perry-Sanchezes. Even though activities and food were less expensive compared to Seattle, their housing costs were higher.

They spent a lot of money on trips they took with Helaman’s classmates, and because they mostly lived off his student loan money, their budget got tight. Ramen dinners became a staple, and they were taken off guard by how expensive their energy bill was in December when they started using their heater regularly.

Something had to give.

A reset

After spending time with family over the holidays, Hayley and Helaman returned to Cambridge in January with a game plan.

Hayley decided to redecorate the apartment, and she and Helaman agreed to approach their social life differently. They still planned to go on trips with Helaman’s cohort, but day-to-day, they wanted to prioritize smaller gatherings and date nights.

By our March catch-up, Hayley seemed lighter than I had seen her in months. She loved the new feel of the apartment and felt more in control of her social life.

“I feel like I’m melting and just coming back to life,” she said. “I’m starting to feel like I’ve got a good group of people, whether it be students or partners of students.”

Helaman told me he was relieved when he and Hayley found “couple friends,” and he appreciated how the mindset shift for the new year had helped bring equilibrium back to their relationship.

“It forced us to be very communicative about how we were feeling about things,” he said of the move, adding that they “realized that going back to this mode where it felt more balanced” was important to their happiness.

“We’ll make it work as long as we’re together. The person is the home.”Hayley Perry-Sanchez

As it got warmer outside, Hayley also realized how much the weather in Boston had been affecting her. She didn’t have a car in Cambridge, so she relied on public transportation to get around, which was tough when it was cold and snowy. She found herself cooped up inside, though she rented a car about once a month to go antiquing or take her dogs on adventures.

“I don’t think I totally realized how stuck in the apartment I felt,” Hayley told me. “My mental health really rides on just getting out of the house, going for a walk, and having my dogs with me.”

Though the couple’s social life had improved, Hayley’s career was still in flux. She was doing contract work, making social media content, and started dog walking and pet sitting on Rover, but interviewing for full-time work felt tricky.

She and Helaman didn’t know if they would stay in the Boston area after he graduated, and his summer internship plans were up in the air.

Unable to truly put down roots, Hayley and Helaman still struggled to feel fully at home.

Looking forward

By May, Helaman secured a summer internship that allowed him to work remotely, so he and Hayley mostly stayed in the Boston area for the summer. The time at home together gave Hayley the chance to claim life in Cambridge for herself, a welcome change from the school year.

She found new things she loved about her home in the summer, like hosting events for the friend group she had made and visiting farmers’ markets.

Hayley also documented her experience visiting thrift and craft stores around the area on TikTok, such as Sewfisticated in Dorchester, where she befriended the owners. Hayley told me her visit there was one of the first times she felt truly connected to Massachusetts.

By summer, Hayley also felt more at peace with the fact that Helaman’s years at Harvard became a bit of a career sabbatical for her, too. Still, as she reflected on how her life had changed over the last year, Hayley told me she wished she had known that the program would feel like it was happening to her as much as it was to Helaman.

“It’s weird that I’m not a student and life is Harvard,” she said.

In year two, Hayley hopes to change that a bit. She doesn’t plan to attend every Harvard-related function Helaman attends, and she wants to establish a day-to-day routine that gives her structure and independence.

“Last year, we kind of felt like we had to say yes to everything and try everything, and I think now we can kind of take a step back,” she said. “I think having better boundaries that way will help.”

Many of Helaman’s peers have made plans to stay in the Boston area after graduation in 2026, but Hayley and Helaman aren’t sure what they will do yet.

Like Seattle, the Perry-Sanchezes don’t think Cambridge is their forever home, but their apartment has become a sanctuary, as has the community they built together.

Regardless of their choice, Hayley sees this chapter of her life as a growing experience for herself and as a couple with her husband.

“I think it’s peaceful that whatever it is, we’ll make it work as long as we’re together,” Hayley said. “The person is the home.”

• I’ve been bonding with my teen son over our shared love of horror movies for years.
• Now, he’s in his first serious relationship, with a girl who also loves scary movies.
• Sharing my teen’s interests is fun, but it’s also allowed me to bond with his girlfriend.

I grew up as an only child in a house that catered to my every girlish whim, so when I found out my first child was a boy, my immediate response was nervousness about how I’d fare in the world of superheroes and monster trucks. Turns out, I’ve done just fine, and I was especially delighted when my son hit his teen years and became interested in something I’d always loved: movies.

Even better than comparing our film rankings on Letterboxd or staying up late to watch the Academy Awards? Not only does my son love movies, but my son specifically inherited my appreciation for horror movies.

As soon as he was old enough, I walked him through a syllabus of classics like “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and newer gems like “Black Phone.” Then, something happened that wasn’t on my radar: My son entered his first serious relationship with a girl who also loved horror movies.

It shouldn’t have surprised me that my son wanted to date someone with the same interests, but it did.

Raising teens — I also have a daughter — is mostly about learning as you go, and since my son is my oldest, that’s been even more true with him. It hadn’t occurred to me he’d date someone who shared his interests until the first time he mentioned his now-girlfriend to me. He’d watched a new-to-him horror movie because she suggested it. My ears immediately perked up, and a few months later, when their friendship turned into something more, it was unsurprising.

My husband and I go on double dates with my son and his girlfriend.

Now, they’ve been an official couple for several months, and my husband and I often go with them on double dates to grab dinner, then see a new horror movie at our local theater. The ritual has provided us grown-ups with a fun way to get to know our son’s girlfriend better, and it’s a win-win for all of us (except my husband, who doesn’t love horror movies but is a good sport). Without this shared interest, I’m sure we’d still occasionally do things together, but the hang-outs would happen less often, and they might not be as fun.

I love getting a chance to bond with the person my son cares about so much.

My son had dated previously, but had far less in common with the person. As a parent, I saw that quickly brought an end to the relationship. Now, I’m thrilled to see him in a relationship with someone he relates to so deeply — yes, in their love of movie genres, but in lots of other ways, too. As parents, we just want our kids to be happy and healthy, but there have definitely been some unexpected perks to my son’s girlfriend sharing interests that I care about, too.

We’ve also traveled together for horror events, and it’s so much fun.

In addition to dinner-and-a-movie date nights, we’ve traveled together to attend horror events like Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Orlando Resort and Scaradise, a fan convention for horror enthusiasts. Whether we’re planning our outfits for a spooky event or deciding which restaurant to meet at before a movie, the shared interest has given me something to connect with my son’s girlfriend over, and it’s been incredibly fun.

I’m constantly amazed by the cool people my teens are becoming, and I love that my son picked an equally cool girl to date.

Both my 17-year-old son and my 15-year-old daughter are pretty amazing individuals. When I held them as tiny babies, I remember worrying about time passing quickly and them growing into teenagers in a blink.

It’s gone fast, yes, but new-mom-me was unprepared for how my heart would swell with pride when observing the incredible almost-adults my husband and I have raised. I often say having teens is even more enjoyable than raising babies, and I truly love watching my kids grow up.

While I’m still their parent, I see my kids turning into grown-ups that will one day be my friends, and it’s truly a thrill. I wasn’t prepared for how much fun it’d be for my kids to start dating, but seeing them build relationships with equally cool people that I also like to spend time with is like gaining more kids — an unexpected perk of raising teens.

There are a million reasons I’m grateful for my son’s girlfriend: she cares about my kid, is talented and kind, and has helped him grow more mature as he navigates his first serious relationship. But beyond that, I love having another scary movie buddy to drag along with me to movie theaters and scary events; it makes life even more fun to bring her along.