Month: September 2025

• Since my kids were babies, I’ve been doing what I call passive parenting.
• I don’t cut their crusts off their sandwiches, because I want to teach them life skills.
• I want to empower independence, but I’m not checking out.

I don’t cut crusts off toast at breakfast time. If my kids don’t want to eat the crust, they eat around it. I’m not lazy, I’m teaching life skills. It’s a valuable lesson that you have to eat around the bits you don’t like.

My often passive parenting isn’t me checking out; I’m intentionally stepping back so my kids have space to grow and work it out for themselves.

I’m a passive parent

My kids are both in school now, and sometimes we wait up to 10 minutes for my youngest to tie her laces. I’ll wait because I’m finished doing it for her. It’s practice in patience, for both of us, and she’s a smart kid, getting faster every time.

I’m a fan of a bit of tough love. If there are peas in the pasta and my kids decide (that day) they don’t like them, they can pick them out. It will take patience and be frustrating as the little green balls slide back into the sauce after they’ve been carefully removed, but picking the peas or onions out is a lifelong habit for many adults, and the sooner you master it, the better.

I first noticed I was a passive parent when I went for a coffee with a friend and watched her hold her 1-year-old daughter’s bottle to her little lips. My friend had one hand on the bottle, the other balancing her latte, while her sandwich sat untouched. I realized then that from the age of about 4 months, my son had held his own bottle, likely because I put it to his mouth and then turned away and used both my hands to eat my lunch.

I’ve observed similar patterns with shoelace tying and car seat buckling. I’m always surprised when a child gets in my car and can’t buckle their own seatbelt. When I stopped doing it for them, my kids picked it up incredibly quickly.

I want to empower independence

I am a full-time working mom, so sometimes my passive parenting strategy is ironically passive. They learn to make snacks because I’m on a client call or wipe their own bum because I’m in the middle of something and they’re sick of calling for help.

For clarity, I’m a loving, attentive mother. I take time to admire the artwork, and I spend a lot of time engaged with my kids doing activities together, answering endless questions, and teaching them things. I believe one of the best things I can do for them is give them independence early and show them how many things they don’t need me for.

The summer my daughter turned 4, I made a hard rule: I wasn’t going to push any more swings. I was missing out on way too many good park bench chats with other moms while I stood mindlessly looking at her back and pushing her. Incredibly, in less than a week, she was flying higher than I ever pushed her. She was thrilled with herself, and I got my social time back.

I want my kids to learn through trial, error, and persistence to do things on their own. First, because I think those skills will set them up for success, and second, because I like to eat my lunch with both hands. I also trust my kids’ abilities, and seeing their confidence grow as they figure things out by themselves is a joy to witness. The kids calling out from the back seat that they’ve buckled their own booster seat while I’m still getting my own seatbelt done is a small display of independence that shows them they can do more without my help. I hope these self-sufficient moments now will, later on, equal confidence and a willingness to try.

I don’t limit myself to a single parenting style

When I read about the various parenting styles, from jellyfish and panda to authoritarian and attachment, I’m not sure where I fit.

I have moments of gentle parenting. I love the idea of free-range, but my kids are a bit young. I think I’ve got a bit of attachment combined with some authoritative parenting flair. Adding a neurodiverse kid in there means sticking to a method isn’t easy. Realistically, I think I’m a sandwich-in-both-hands type parent.

Whatever the name of the approach, my aim is to support critical thinking and empower independence in a safe environment. And I also don’t want to be cutting crusts, peeling grapes, and laying my kids’ clothes out into their teens. Some mornings, my daughter’s outfit choices are horrendously uncoordinated, but if she looks like she’ll be warm enough, we’re out the door. She’ll figure out quickly that layering two pairs of pants under a tutu with a wool sweater in August isn’t ideal for classroom comfort.

My kids are smart and capable, and I see them become even more so when I ignore them here and there and take a passive approach. Inevitably, they figure it out for themselves, learning to tie their laces, pump their legs, pick out the peas, or just eat the greens instead. They understand they’re capable of more than they realize. And I get to finish my sandwich, which feels like a win for everyone.

Lokeren (24brussels) – The Sint-Teresia Campus in Lokeren has inaugurated six new classrooms following a €2 million investment, increasing its capacity to 550 students. Directors Koen Pollart and Bruno Vanobbergen emphasized the focus on modern learning environments and enhanced sports programs.

The official opening took place on September 13, 2025, at the Sint-Teresia Campus located in East Flanders, Belgium. The addition of these classrooms raises the school’s capacity from 450 to 550 students and is tailored to support practical learning and contemporary teaching methodologies.

Impact of the Sint-Teresia Campus Expansion on Students

The campus’ sports programs are gaining considerable interest, particularly in Sports Science and dual specialisation in sports. Other programs at the campus are also thriving, with officials noting that the expansion signifies a significant advancement for the institution.

Currently, the temporary container classrooms will remain on site while plans are underway to relocate them to the Sint-Lodewijk campus, which is set for its own construction project.

During the inauguration ceremony, Director Koen Pollart recounted the school’s rich history and its longstanding educational traditions. Bruno Vanobbergen, Director-General of Catholic Education Flanders, expressed enthusiasm about the campus, highlighting its welcoming atmosphere. The event culminated with the campus dean blessing the new facilities and a ribbon-cutting ceremony, during which campus directors were formally presented the keys to the new classrooms.

Established in 1952, the Sint-Teresia Campus has evolved into a pivotal institution for Catholic education in the area. Over the years, the campus has expanded its educational offerings, focusing on modern sports and technical education alongside enhanced facilities and resources.

• I recently let my 15-year-old daughter go on a bus to New York City by herself.
• I’m glad she has the skills to be independent because I’ve been teaching her that for years.
• It hurts, though, because every new skill she develops means she’s another step closer to leaving.

As I watched the bus to New York City pull away from the curb, I smiled and waved. I was trying to appear happy and content for my 15-year-old daughter, who had boarded the bus — alone — moments before.

She was on her way to visit a friend she had met at camp. I didn’t want her to see that I was panicking inwardly. Was my daughter old enough to handle this adventure on her own? Would she know what to do if the bus broke down or another passenger started bothering her? Would I survive a week of worry when she was gone?

As the bus disappeared down the street, headed for one of the biggest cities in the world with my child on board, I knew I needed to trust that she was prepared to handle this huge leap of independence. But it still hurt to watch her go off into the world and know that she didn’t need me.

As a parent, my job is to prepare my teen to live independently

When my daughter was born, tiny and helpless like all newborns, she needed me constantly. I was the one who fed her and kept her warm. As a toddler, my job was to keep her safe as she explored the world for the first time. I held her as she learned to swim and kissed her boo-boos when she fell.

In elementary school, she gained confidence away from home by walking to her friends’ houses and to a market a few blocks from our home to get milk. In middle school, she started taking the bus to school on her own before branching out to taking the metro. We practiced how to handle getting lost and what to do if someone started following her or asked her to hand over her phone.

Later, as my daughter grew, my role shifted. I started pulling back on what I did for my daughter and started making sure she was able to do things for herself. She learned practical skills, such as laundry and cooking, how to manage her money, and the “street smarts” she needs to know when navigating new places.

Every new skill is a step toward her independence

Watching my daughter board the bus to New York City, I was filled with pride that she had already learned so many of the skills she would need to eventually live independently. While my daughter deserves most of the credit for growing into a mature teen who mostly makes good decisions, I took a moment to reflect on the role I had played in getting her to this point.

As the bus pulled away, I was starkly reminded that my primary purpose as a mother is to teach my daughter. If I do my job well, I will eventually teach her everything she needs to know to do the thing that will hurt me the most: move away from me and build a life of her own.

My daughter’s solo bus ride to New York City reminded me that the bittersweet day she will leave home permanently is coming sooner rather than later. I didn’t realize that watching her spread her wings would be so painful, especially because it’s the very moment I’ve been working toward since I first held her in my arms.

Because I have been working toward getting my daughter ready to leave me since the moment she was born, I did not expect this step to cut so deeply. This simple trip to see a friend in the Big Apple showed me starkly that my daughter is ready to exist in the world on her own, without me by her side.

I now appreciate the time I have with her even more

Before I know it, I will be putting my daughter on a bus or a plane to send her to college. Then, helping her settle into her first home.

It might be somewhere much further from me than New York City. My daughter’s time away from her family will likely start to stretch further and further.

Since my daughter returned home from New York, it seems like time is flying by even faster, and that she needs me even less than she did before.

Many parents are content knowing their child is ready to launch. Mine has already shown me that she is. However, until then, I will savor every moment she shares with me.