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My husband and I chose to live in Washington, DC, based on job opportunities. I wish we’d chosen to live closer to family.

The author with her family in Washington, DC.
The author and her husband decided to stay in Washington, DC, after college.

  • My husband and I met while we were in law school and living in Washington, DC.
  • We decided to stay there when we married because we thought we’d have more job opportunities.
  • I love living there, but as my kids and parents have gotten older, I wish we lived closer to family.

When my husband and I met, we were both in law school in Washington, DC. We had each moved there for school. Neither of us had any ties to the city, and before we met, neither of us expected to stay there after graduation.

Before we got married in 2002, we discussed moving back to my hometown of Philadelphia, PA, or his hometown of St. Paul, MN, to be closer to family. However, we quickly realized that if we left DC, our job opportunities would be limited. Since we had both spent years in higher education and incurred significant debt to earn our degrees, launching our careers was at the forefront of our minds.

Although my husband and I both wanted children, we knew we wouldn’t have them right away, and allowing family to take a backseat to work seemed like the right choice at the time. After we earned our diplomas, we both got jobs we liked and settled into life in DC for the long haul. But things didn’t work out the way I had planned.

When we started a family, my priorities started to shift

After my first child was born, my priorities started to shift. My daughter was born with multiple disabilities and complex medical needs. Caring for her and working a 9-to-5 job wasn’t feasible. Additionally, not knowing whether she would live until her first birthday prompted me to reevaluate how I wanted to live my life.

Although I loved my job, my career was no longer the most crucial thing in my life. I wound up leaving my position as a full-time attorney and pieced together several part-time and freelance jobs I could do from home instead.

The author smiling with a view of Washington, DC, in the background.
Though she loves her life in Washington, DC, the author sometimes wishes they’d chosen to be closer to family.

It still wasn’t the right time to move

My husband was thriving in his career, and one parent having a stable job with a steady income was more important than ever with a disabled child. Moreover, by the time my daughter was born, I had established a full life in DC.

We owned a home I loved, and had close friends who became a support system. My husband and I once again briefly considered moving to be closer to family, but it still didn’t seem like the best idea for us. We decided to stay where we were settled, and my husband’s career trajectory seemed much more promising.

My husband and I went on to have three more children. After each child’s birth, we once again discussed moving back to Philadelphia or St. Paul, but with every passing year, leaving DC seemed more difficult, especially if it meant starting over with a new job.

Three of the author's kids on a lawn in front of buildings in a city.
The author and her husband have debated moving to either Philadelphia or St. Paul after the birth of each of their children.

As my kids and parents got older, I questioned the choice to stay in DC

Now that my kids, now aged 10 through 19, and my parents, now in their mid-70s, are older, I think we made a mistake in deciding to raise my children far away from any family. Since I left traditional employment just a few years after graduation, it’s clear that my career would not have suffered from living somewhere without as many job opportunities. My husband may have wound up with a very different career trajectory in Philadelphia or St. Paul, but I think the trade-off would have been worth it.

I love the life we built in DC, and my children are happy. We take advantage of all the city has to offer, from a seemingly endless number of free museums to a vast national park. Still, I often think about how much they missed out on by not growing up close to cousins, grandparents, and a big extended family that loves them. The chaos of life means that visits were not nearly as frequent as I had hoped they would be. Selfishly, I also realize that my life would have been easier if I lived near family who could help when life seems overwhelming or babysit for a night out with my husband.

Guilt also crept in when my father got cancer and my mother developed health challenges of her own. My parents needed help too, but leaving my four kids who needed me made frequent or extended visits impossible. My father passed away a few months ago, and I will always regret that I couldn’t spend more time with him when he was sick. Now, my mother is older and alone, and I wish I could help her more.

Although I’ve tried to devise a plan, it seems impossible to dismantle our lives in DC and move. However, if I could go back and do things over, I would choose being closer to family over better job opportunities.

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Live-in offices, air mattresses, and stacks of ramen: Inside the apartments of 6 young tech founders

Josh Sirota's air mattress is pictured on the floor of the Eragon office.
Six 20-something tech founders took Business Insider for an apartment tour. That includes Josh Sirota, who sleeps on an air mattress.

  • Six tech founders in their mid-20s took Business Insider on virtual tours of their apartments.
  • Two of the young founders lived in their company’s loft office spaces, where their beds were just feet away from their desks.
  • One slept on an air mattress, another used a cardboard box as a nightstand, and others had tidier homes.

Steve Jobs lived simply in 1982. All the Apple cofounder said he needed was “a cup of tea, a light, and your stereo.” Forty years later, not much has changed for the next generation of young founders.

While the AI boom is sending millions in venture funding to 20-something entrepreneurs, many still aren’t buying furniture.

Spartan living is common. Some live on mattresses in the office, while others keep their apartments’ clutter to a minimum.

Six young tech founders gave Business Insider a glimpse into their apartments — take a peek inside:

ThirdLayer cofounder Regina Lin crashes on the company couch at 4 a.m.
The ThirdLayer couch is pictured with the company's cat, Tobi.
Lin often sleeps on the company couch from 4 to 7 a.m., before finishing the night upstairs in bed.

ThirdLayer operates out of a live/work-zoned loft that was previously occupied by another Y Combinator startup. Their landlord, it turned out, was their investor. The desks and kitchen are on the main floor; up and down the stairs, you’ll find beds.

In the kitchen, the sink was full of dishes because everyone likes to “sit and work” and not “do chores,” per 22-year-old cofounder Regina Lin. They have plastic utensils and rarely cook.

“This stack of ramen used to be a lot bigger,” Lin said, pointing to a tower of different instant noodle brands. “It was very high.”

Next to the kitchen is their common area, where they film social videos, store their prop gimmicks, and often house overnight guests. Lin said that she sleeps there from 4 to 7 a.m., “and then I escape to my bedroom before anyone in the morning comes and sees me passed out there.”

The floor is filled with standing desks. Lin’s desk is littered with Blue Bottle cups; she said that she usually has at least four. Affixed to one desk is a bed for their cat, Tobi. Lin thought a cat would be “good for company culture.”

Lin’s closet doesn’t have hanging rungs, so she lives out of a suitcase.
Regina Lin's bedroom, which she shares with her cofounder, is pictured.
Lin and her cofounder, Kevin Gu, sleep feet apart on a bed and couch.

ThirdLayer has beds both upstairs and downstairs. Julia Alvarenga, ThirdLayer’s intern, got the most prized room downstairs: a storage closet. The company’s design engineer also lives there, and they outfit the downstairs couch as a bed when remote employees visit.

The founders sleep upstairs. Lin sleeps in a king-size bed; she said she wanted a smaller mattress so that they could fit more, but it was too big to get out the door. Her cofounder, Kevin Gu, sleeps on a couch just feet away.

“Everyone in the house is just right next to each other all the time,” Lin said.

The room has a closet, though it doesn’t have any racks to hang clothes. Lin suspects that it was built as a room to take calls. The founders leave their suitcases in there, and Lin also stacks her clothes in a large plastic bin next to her bed.

The upstairs bathroom is small. If Lin wants to do her makeup or get ready for the day, she’ll go downstairs to the bigger common bathroom, she said.

Docket cofounder Boris Skurikhin uses a cardboard box as a nightstand.
Boris Skurikhin's bed and makeshift nightstand are pictured.
Boris Skurikhin said furniture was not top of mind while in “build mode” and “think mode.”

25-year-old Docket cofounder Boris Skurikhin’s mattress is on the floor.

His makeshift nightstand is a short cardboard box, on which he stacked his computer and a biography of physicist Andrei Sakharov. His clothes are folded and stacked against the room’s windows.

“We moved here very, very quickly from New York,” he said. “We started the YC batch that following Monday, and we were build mode, we were think mode. Furniture was not that important.”

Skurikhin doesn’t like clutter; he says the almost empty room allows him to walk around and think.

Skurikhin stuck the cofounders’ three tenets above their desks with packing tape.
A piece of paper with Docket's three tenets is pictured taped to the wall.
The Docket cofounders’ three tenets are taped above their desks.

The living room has two desks, his and his cofounder’s. He doesn’t use the desk much, since the office is within walking distance. The “most interesting part,” he said, was a piece of paper with the cofounders’ three tenets stuck to the wall with some packing tape:

  1. No pivot discussions
  2. B2B SaaS, Real Money ($1k+/month) contracts
  3. Daily 50 outreach each

In their doorway is a small “conversational table” where Skurikhin sometimes eats lunch or dinner. He doesn’t touch the kitchen much, he said, though he’s proud of his tea collection.

Nectir cofounder Kavitta Ghai walks around her apartment with incense.
The kitchen and living room of Kavitta Ghai's Airbnb is pictured.
Kavitta Ghai liked this Airbnb because it had a record player and a good sound system.

Every time 28-year-old Nectir founder Kavitta Ghai has a “mental block” at her Los Angeles apartment, she uproots to an Airbnb where her team can meet her. Now she’s in Brooklyn’s Dumbo neighborhood; she especially liked the spot because of its record player.

Ghai does not have time to cook food — “DoorDash is my best friend,” she said — but keeps some supplies on hand for when she hosts friends or hackathons.

In her living room, Ghai is playing meditative music — something she “always” has on.

“Does it work? I don’t know,” she said. “I must set the vibes of the house. The candle has to be on. I’ll wake up in the morning and walk around with my incense.”

The Airbnb also has a small patio, one of Ghai’s non-negotiables: “I need to be able to walk outside on days when I’m working for 12 hours.”

The porch is also an ideal spot to sit out and have a coffee in the morning, or to smoke a joint, she said.

Ghai’s friends tell her she lives in ‘serial killer homes’ because they are so pristine.
The bedroom of Kavitta Ghai's Airbnb is pictured.
Ghai makes her bed first thing every morning.

Ghai’s desk is not in her bedroom, another non-negotiable while picking an Airbnb. She needs separation, she said, and having a separate desk area allows her to create a “little WeWork.”

The bedroom features floor-to-ceiling windows, as Ghai likes to wake up to sunlight. The first thing that she does every morning is make her bed.

“My friends say my homes look like serial killer homes,” she said. “I like it to look like nobody lives there ever. I need you to walk into my house and be like, ‘Is this a staged home?'”

Inside Ghai’s closet, there are two designer bags: one Dior, one Louis Vuitton. They’re both vintage, Ghai said. She likes to go to vintage stores and find nice bags that need some care.

“I like to do my little art projects,” she said.

Eragon founder Josh Sirota’s air mattress is feet away from his desk.
Josh Sirota's air mattress is pictured on the floor of the Eragon office.

29-year-old Josh Sirota sleeps on an air mattress in the middle of the Eragon office.

He tries to get up at 8 a.m., when he wanders over a few feet to his desk. He’s the only one who sleeps there full-time, but the office has cots and a couch for those who work particularly late.

Upstairs is more bed space and a conference room, but the area is currently strewn with Sirota’s clothes.

“We just moved a month ago and I’ve been super traveling, so we haven’t set up this area yet,” he said.

Sirota’s room will eventually be upstairs, too, he said, and it will have an actual mattress and a closet. For now, the space is empty.

Outside, Sirota has a tent set up. Photos of tents pitched in what was inaccurately described as the X office recently spread around the social media platform, which Eragon recreated for a marketing stunt. Next to the tent is a stationary bike for office use.

Sirota’s desk had Redbull, green tea, and at least five Zyn canisters.
Josh Sirota's desk is pictured.

Eragon is part of Andreessen Horowitz’s accelerator, A16z Speedrun. Sirota said he was meeting Ben Horowitz that week, and on his desk was a copy of Horowitz’s “What You Do Is Who You Are.”

He also had Andrew Chen’s “The Cold Start Problem,” which he said was “essential reading.

Next to the books was a can of green tea, a Redbull, and a bag of socks gifted by his sister. There was a bag of leftover McDonald’s from an Uber Eats delivery.

Stacked up high on his desk were at least five canisters of Zyn nicotine pouches.

TrainLoop cofounder Jackson Stokes finally has a dishwasher.
Jackson Stokes' kitchen is pictured.
Jackson Stokes is grateful that his kitchen has a dishwasher.

26-year-old TrainLoop founder Jackson Stokes’ apartment doesn’t have a living room. It’s worked for him: “We were just never actually here,” he said, explaining that he’ll spend 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. in the office on a normal day.

It’s more spacious than his last apartment, which was a five-bedroom with six guys in it. That apartment also didn’t have a dishwasher.

This apartment also has a robotic coffee machine, which he bought off a friend for $1. “It’s very tech,” he said.

The company coffee maker is much nicer. He recently bought a $1,500 machine for the TrainLoop office. They haven’t moved into the new space yet; the machine sits on his bedroom floor.

Stokes has a bottle of Clase Azul in his room — but he hasn’t ‘rung the bell’ yet.
Jackson Stokes' bedroom is pictured.
Jackson Stokes’ bookshelf includes photo strips from his time at Google and a bottle of Clase Azul.

Stokes wants to have a nice bedroom. He called it a “bit cluttered” — there’s a plant on top of the coffee machine — but said that he’d been “nesting.”

Stokes has books from Stripe Press and paintings from local artists on his shelves. He also has two framed printouts from photobooths: one from his time at Google and the other from Y Combinator’s end-of-batch party.

Stokes’ top shelf also contains alcohol. He has a bottle of wine from winning first place at an OpenAI hackathon and a bottle signed by his YC group partner, Michael Seibel. There’s also a bottle of Clase Azul, which is still sealed because “we don’t drink that much.”

“I actually have not rung the bell on this one yet,” Stokes said of the bottle’s topper. “But I have rung the bell on others.”

Gale cofounder Haokun Qin stores protein shakes under his bed.
Haokun Qin's bed is pictured.
Haokun Qin sleeps under a heated blanket every night.

23-year-old Haokun Qin and his Gale cofounder moved into their Toronto apartment two months ago: “We just shoved our stuff in here, and we’ve been here maybe half the time.”

He keeps his room basic, just “whatever I need to sleep.” That includes a bed, a nightstand, and a heated blanket — no comforter or duvet needed.

“I move around too much to have that much stuff on me,” Qin said.

His favorite thing in the room, Qin said, was the protein shakes that he stores under his bed.

Qin’s skincare products are from his mom and Amazon.
Haokun Qin's bathroom is pictured.
“I couldn’t tell you, man,” Qin said of his bathroom products.

In his bathroom, Qin has a variety of skincare products.

“I don’t even know what it is, but half the stuff my mom bought, and half the stuff I bought on Amazon over time,” he said. “I couldn’t tell you, man.”

In his apartment’s living area, Qin has floor-to-ceiling windows. He points out one to The Velocity Incubator, a local startup program. His office, he says, is a three-minute walk away.

Opening his freezer, Qin pulls out an ice pop and laughs. “We call them freezies,” he said.

Are you a startup founder with a story to share? Contact the reporter at hchandonnet@businessinsider.com

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