Day: August 22, 2025

• For months, I debated having a party for my son’s second birthday.
• In the end, I realized it would be more stress than it was worth.
• We spent the weekend with our family and made beautiful memories together.

As August crept up on me, I found myself at an impasse as to what to do for my son’s second birthday. Do I throw a birthday party for him with a bunch of people he doesn’t know, spending a ton of money to impress everyone, or do I keep it simple with a family lunch surrounded by the ones he knows and loves? When put simply, you would think the answer came easily. However, did not.

For months, I debated these two options while scrolling through Pinterest. I created boards with ideas for extravagant toddler birthday parties, complete with huge balloon arches, inflatable bounce house forts, a grazing lunch spread, and, of course, a few two-tiered cakes.

Then the themes came into play: should we do his favorite character, a color-focused theme, or even an ecological theme with huge whale shark balloons? The budget was the next thing to consider. Did you know that a balloon arch can cost more than $200?! The deeper I went into planning, the more it made me feel like I was on the prom committee rather than planning a party for a 2-year-old.

I realized that the party would be more for me than for him

As a mother, I realized one of the most significant duties we have is making sure our children are taken care of. We want them to have the best of everything, including the greatest birthday party ever. All I wanted to do was go above and beyond for my son. I ended up drowning in a sea of options when it came to balloons, party favors, bounce houses, and hired superheroes.

Ultimately, though, I realized all of the extravagance would be for me, not for him. All my son wants is for his family to be there with him. At this age, he doesn’t even understand that it is his birthday — he only knows that we’re all here and happy to be with him. For all my deliberating, in the end, I decided not to throw a birthday party for my son’s second birthday.

Instead of having a party, we spent time with family all weekend

With his birthday past us, I do not regret my decision whatsoever. Not only did we save hundreds of dollars by not throwing a birthday party, but we also ended up making great memories. My boy is 2, and he had a fantastic, celebratory weekend. We turned his birthday into a four-day weekend filled with lots of laughter, adventures, and play.

My husband took the Friday before his birthday off from work to spend the day with our son. They went to an indoor toddler playground, followed by a lunch date. On Saturday, we had our family lunch with his great-grandparents, his Nana, Papa, and Grandpa. All that was missing was my dad, Papa John.

I made a charcuterie board, a fruit and veggie platter, and ordered some sandwiches. The cake was a single-tier birthday cake from our grocery store bakery, under $30. I used a beautiful customized cake topper that I’d found on Etsy for just under $15.

The lunch was seriously one of the best moments. Our son was so happy when everyone sang for him, and I will forever cherish those moments with his great-grandparents. We had a park playdate scheduled on Sunday, his actual birthday, but had to reschedule due to a storm, and instead had an indoor family movie day and played all sorts of games. I took Monday off to close out his birthday weekend. We met one of his friends at a local art studio that has “Toddler Monday” for $6. The big 2-year-old got to paint for the first time!

We made memories without the stress of planning a party

The best part about all of this is that he had such a great time. As parents, we had little to no stress about planning anything, and there was minimal cleanup. We also did not have to spend exorbitant amounts of money trying to throw a party.

One of the greatest joys in life is watching your child grow up. Before I became a mom, I never understood that statement. Here I am, two years into motherhood and soaking in every second of it. His birthday this year has taught me that it isn’t about how much money you spend or how big a party you throw, it’s about the time you get to spend together and the memories you make.

• I underestimated how long it would take us to settle into life in France from the UK.
• All the little unfamiliar things add up. We’re confused a lot of the time, even as French speakers.
• There are so many cool parts of getting to know a new country and culture, but it takes time.

When my husband was offered the opportunity to move to the south of France for work, we didn’t hesitate.

Provence and the French Riviera are famously beautiful, we speak French, and it’s not far from our home, the UK. We’ve vacationed across France many times, so how different could living there really be?

Swiftly after moving, I realized that it was, in fact, very different.

We’ve been here for two months now, and culture shock has taken me by surprise. For example, I thought I spoke decent French, but quickly learned otherwise after I tried to terminate my WiFi contract on the phone with a rapid-speaking French woman because we signed up for the wrong one.

I’ve realized it’s going to take us at least a few more months to settle in.

Not understanding has led to some pricey mistakes

I’m no stranger to change. I lived abroad in Germany and Belgium for a year, and have spent the rest of my life bouncing across the UK in Leicestershire, Bristol, London, Devon, and finally Hampshire. However, Southern France has been a different experience entirely.

There have been many incidents like the WiFi mixup, where we come away not entirely sure what we’d agreed to, but simply had to hope for the best. And sometimes it’s been costly.

For example, there was the car park whose daily rate turned out not, in fact, to include the night, meaning our fee was €120 ($140) rather than the expected €40 ($47).

There was also the market stall where we reluctantly paid €34 ($40) for some (delicious, to be fair) bell pepper dip and cashews because they were priced by weight.

Ultimately, it’s all a learning curve, we know for next time, and at least we got some funny anecdotes out of it all, even if these costs were painful at the time.

The little things add up

Small things like how you pay for vegetables (which seemingly varies from supermarket to supermarket) may not seem like huge issues, but when lots of little things are different, it can take a toll, mentally.

Where do we scan the bus ticket? Do we have to weigh this vegetable before going to the till? OK this one we do, this one we don’t. Which type of nectarine is this? Oh, we need the receipt to exit this store.

Driving etiquette is hugely different to back home, too. The French drivers I’ve encountered certainly have a distinct idea of what constitutes a safe distance to leave between vehicles. It’s been terrifying to see cars changing lanes with just a few feet between them, and honestly I don’t know how there aren’t more collisions.

That said, it seems like at least 50% of the cars here have dents and bashes.

Not knowing what’s going on or what the right etiquette is quickly gets exhausting, and we’ve found ourselves sleeping a lot longer than we would normally.

We keep getting caught out by lunchtime shop closures

In the UK, shops don’t close for lunch, and we keep getting caught out by this very French custom.

Many of the shops here close for as long as three hours over lunchtime, which seems mad to me when a lot of people presumably want to run errands in their lunch breaks, but you have to respect the French commitment to lunch.

Equally, many restaurants don’t open until 7 p.m. in the evening and won’t start filling up until at least 8 p.m.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing for us, though, as it means we can generally always walk in and get a table at 7:30 p.m.

It’s a privilege to have culture shock

Provence is one of the most beautiful places in the world, and I do feel really lucky to be here. We’ve had so many friends want to come visit, we’ve had to start turning some down because we can’t have visitors all the time.

However, moving somewhere isn’t the same as being on holiday, and there’s a lot to get to grips with — fellow expats have told us it takes at least six months to feel settled.

Ultimately, it’s what makes living abroad such an interesting and exciting venture, even if we do have occasional moments where we just want to go home, where we know how everything works.

Those moments are fleeting though, because we’re in a stunning part of the world, with excellent wine and cheese, and (nearly) all the French people we’ve met have been very friendly. Except when they’re driving, anyway.