Day: August 10, 2025

• With four very different kids, we found it hard to make vacations fun for everyone.
• Taking each child away by themselves involves less coordination and spreads the costs.
• One-on-one vacations help us build special memories with our kids.

When my husband and I got married five years ago, we took our first and last combined family vacation. Our kids then were aged 4, 8, 10, and 14, and, as a newly blended family, we thought it would be nice to spend some special time together. We didn’t go far — just a three-hour drive to Christchurch, our closest big city.

But even planning a simple overnight trip with all four kids required the effort of an expert events management team — or at least it felt that way.

They all like different things

Because we have my husband’s kids on the weekend and my own during the week, it involved a shuffling of schedules and coordinating with their other parents. We had to take two vehicles and book accommodation that would suit us all. The 14-year-old certainly wasn’t keen to share a room with a busy 4-year-old. Then there was the question of what activities to do.

We’re lucky in that our kids all get along, but they have very different ideas about what’s fun to do on vacation. We spent our first day at the zoo and our second at a huge outdoor playground. Apart from the 4-year-old throwing her favourite toy out the car window and having to backtrack to hunt it down, everything went smoothly. The kids were happy. We were exhausted.

For our next trip away, we decided to make it simpler and only take the older three, but very quickly, our family vacation turned into two separate trips. My stepson wasn’t keen to do any of the activities the older girls had in mind. He wanted to tour the parliament buildings and walk around the city, while the girls wanted to explore the museum and swim at the beach.

We made it work, but by the end of the trip, everyone was feeling a little frustrated.

When we took the younger three away together, we had a similar situation. They enjoyed staying at the unique tram carriage accommodation, but choosing what activities to do proved difficult. The girls loved visiting a wildlife park, but my stepson was miserable. As they’ve gotten older, their interests have separated even further.

If we spend money on a trip, we want them to enjoy it

If we’re going to spend time and money on a vacation for the kids, we want them to actually enjoy it, so this year, we decided to try something new. We’d take each child away by themselves. There’d be less coordination required, and we could tailor vacations to each child’s interests. It also spreads out the costs over the year, which makes it much more doable.

I took my oldest daughter, now almost 19, away for a girls’ retreat. We visited a boutique seaside town and stayed in a cute little cottage with incredible views of the bay. We booked massages, ate at a high-end restaurant, and had a few drinks at a gin bar on the beach. My daughter loves relaxed luxuries, visiting cute little cafés, and going to the movies, and, as this is her final year at home, it was lovely to have that special one-on-one time with her doing all of the things we both enjoy.

My husband surprised my stepson with his first overseas trip. My stepson loves the band Green Day and visiting big cities, so when we found out they’d be playing in Melbourne, Australia, we thought it would be the perfect trip for him. We made it his Christmas present as it would be more expensive than the other kids’ vacations. My husband booked a Superman-themed hotel room and, as well as attending the concert, they visited a car museum, rode on the trams, and shopped at the market.

Our youngest has requested a trip to a trampoline park. As more of a homebody, she hates travelling long distances. Thankfully, there’s a trampoline park in a nearby town, which will make that a simple vacation to plan. At 9, she’s still a busy little girl with more energy than the other kids. Having just her to focus on will definitely make that easier.

Our other daughter, at 15, is now a competitive swimmer and has races out of town, so her vacation will likely revolve around that. She likes her holidays to be active and outdoors. Even better if there’s water involved. Next time she has an away race, we’ll tag on an extra night or two, find some outdoor activity to enjoy, and make it a special trip away.

We’re a close family, but we found it hard to make vacations fun for everyone. Taking the kids away individually means we can pick trips we know they’ll love while keeping the costs and logistical demands low. One-on-one time also allows for deeper conversations with each child and a more special connection. We may take another family vacation at some point, but for now, this works for us.